Posted: June 8, 2010 in Family
Tags: , , ,

When Tiffany and I found out we expecting our first child about 9 months into our marriage, we had no idea what to expect. We were so young – she was 20 and I was 21 – and all we knew was that if the people we saw in Wal-mart could be parents then surely we could do it! Three kids later we have said and heard some crazy stuff. Thankfully, over the years we’ve kept a running list of some of the things each of our children have said that we always wanted to remember. Some of the things we wrote down are inside jokes and wouldn’t make sense to most people, and some are downright inappropriate in a public forum. But I’ve collected the ones I thought people might appreciate and posted them here for you’re enjoyment.

So without further adieu, here are quotes from my oldest son that we affectionately call “Ethanisms”:

Poppy’s had some college! (after my Dad buckled him in his car seat correctly after struggling a bit)

I want some more goldfish. (At Captain D’s)

Mommy, this is my pee pee. Sometimes its little, sometimes its big!

(Bent down yelling at a roly poly) Go faster, bug! Go faster! GO!! *steps on and squashes it in anger* Uh-oh.

(To Tiff while she was pregnant) Mommy, you’re getting so big as the whole world.

(Talking to Tiff’s pregnant tummy) Baby, when are you gonna come out of there? To Tiff: She said Saturday. (And Eva was born on a Saturday!)

My Mom: Ethan, do you like your new sister? Ethan: Yes, but she doesn’t have any legs. (After seeing his sister for the first time wrapped up in her blanket)

Our baby cries too much. We’re going to take her back and get a new one.

Ethan: When I get bigger as a mommy, I’ll change Eva’s diaper. But when you get smaller you can’t do it anymore. Tiff: I’m not getting smaller. Ethan: Yes you are.

Tiff’s mom: Ethan, where’s your other goldfish? Ethan: We took him to the toilet. (After one of his goldfish died.)

(While playing a video game where you collect peaches) Ethan: Mommy, how many peaches do I have? Tiff: 71. Ethan: When I was a child, 71 was my football number.

(Singing) If you’re happy and you know it, spill your drink.

Daddy, I feel like you’re my best friend. Sam [my brother] is my best fighting friend. Mommy, you’re my best girlfriend. Eva, too.

Dear Jesus please sleep on my head so I can be tect. (Trying to pray that the blood Jesus would cover his mind and protect him while he sleeps)

God made the whole world and if you steal his bread he gets really mad.

Jamie: What do you wanna be when you grow up? Ethan: I wanna be a really big dog.

(After looking at a drawing Ethan did a at church) Jamie: Who is that? Ethan: It’s the Happy Ghost. Jamie: Who?! Ethan: You know –  the Father, the Son, and the Happy Ghost.

(After walking outside to play and its raining) Aww, rain! You can’t play with my toys anymore!

(Praying) Dear Jesus please bless the food and I hate to say this but help us eat all night.

(While eating a banana) Mommy, you see this brown part at the bottom? That’s where the banana goes poopoo.

When I watch that video, my mind just goes crazy.

Yes, Eva, that’s Santa Claus but he died a very long time ago.

You know whats funny about me? I don’t like potatoes but I love ketchup. And ketchup is made from potatoes.

Daddy, I wanna do community. You know with crackers. (Talking about taking communion)

(After a coughing fit) Mommy, I know they’ll make me hyper, but I think I need to take my asteroids. (steroids)

Isaac, there are two reasons I love you: 1) because I have to 2) because you’re so snuggly! (talking to Isaac as a newborn)

(After listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen) That made my ears curl.

(After Isaac jumps on his stomach) Ouch, my contestants! (intestines)

Ethan (while eating a cheese stick): Mommy, what is cheese made from?  Tiff: It’s made from milk.  Ethan: So right now I’m eating the pee that comes from the gutters! (udders)

I put my dirty clothes in my hamster.

I’ve been big on the fancy words since like, umm, Monday (said Tuesday after using the word melodramatic)

Daddy, I’m ready for you to put me to sleep. But not like they do to cats and dogs.

  1. Mike Boozer says:

    Nice post, I like the site

    -Mike Boozer,

  2. Carmaleta says:

    Those are too funny! I needed a good chuckle, thanks!

  3. […] a running list for each child and we frequently revisit them for a good laugh and to add to them. I already posted quotes from my oldest son, Ethan. Now we turn to my middle child – my precious daughter […]

  4. […] our youngest son, Isaac. If you haven’t already, check out the lists for my other children, Ethan and Eva. To be honest, this seems a little premature as Isaac just turned 5 and this list is just […]

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